:: Saturday, March 16, 2002 ::
The silence gets us no where
:: Thursday, March 14, 2002 ::
I'm so tired but I felt a need to write in this journal for some reason. Probably cause I wanted to so badly yesterday, but couldn't cause my DSL was down. Though it's back up now, woo-hoo!
Heh…hmm, do you ever do something random while talking on the phone? Like a constant habit that occurs when you’re on the phone? Heh, well if you don’t, I do! I have two that I only do when I’m on the phone. One is shooting rubber bands. I have a whole container of little rubber bands and I just try to hit certain objects in my room while on the phone. It’s fun, but a pain cleaning up, heh. The other is that I grab one of my gel pens and just right “hi” on my hand, erase it, then write it again. I do this over and over and…yea; this could be why I’m not that big of a phone talker, heh.
Dude, I had to be at church today at 3pm to practice for singing when church doesn’t start on Saturday tell 6pm. Blah…but that’s alright. It’s always a blast getting up there and singing for God. I’d do it any day. Though the message at church today was “Resolving Conflict In The Home.” It helped me out a lot, cause I don’t get along with my parents all that great. ::No, I’m not a rebellious teenager that picks arguments with my parent’s left and right, heh::. As a matter of fact, my parents and I barely talk. The gateways of communication aren’t very open. Though, with God’s help, I’m going to do my best to fix it. I’m going to sit down with my parents and sincerely talk to them about the lack of communication between us.
Though, I’d have to say it’s mostly my fault…I don’t exactly like to admit it, but I have to face it… I’m never really home when they are, and when I am, I spend all my time in my room doing my homework or lully gaggin’ on this here computer, heh. Yea…
Well, I got most things out of my head for the night… now it’s time to go to bed! I’m extremely tired and I have to be at church at 8am tomorrow…blah.
Goodnight and Godless!
:: Alecia 11:15 PM [+] ::
And I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard
:: Wednesday, March 13, 2002 ::
Today was eh... the day seemed to kind of drag I guess. I had two mandatory meetings to go to today. One during focus (free) period, and one during lunch. That was ok, but it sucked up the time I could have been using to catch up on homework or whatevs.
After school I had to rush home and do what home work I could (which turned out to be none) and then hop in the shower and get ready to go to singing practice, and then bible study right after. What a day...singing practice was all right. I was feeling pretty depressed all day today and tried to suck everything up and act like things were cool at singing practice. Welp, heh my attempt at putting on a "front" didn't work at all. I was extremely bummed, and it showed. I've just been having a bad week, and I was really hit hard in the heart when I found out what happened to my friends. Man... I still can't believe it. It was weird, I woke up this morning and thought that yesterday was a dream; I donno dude, it was whack. Though at singing practice, people could tell something was up, and some there knew what was going on, but dude. I felt bad that I couldn't put forth the effort I needed to... the depressed mode I was in was holding me back from letting go while singing. So I just excused myself and went to the bathroom and just sincerely prayed for God to help me through this and just help me deal. I didn't want to feel the way I was for the rest of the night... soon after, the feeling wasn't as strong.
::thank you God, for just hearing me out and helping me::
Bible study was cool... I enjoy it a lot. It's always cool to learn stuff from the bible, and to share with other people about the different ways that Gods word hits you. Good stuff.
All right, I need to finish some homework...goodnight!
:: Alecia 10:33 PM [+] ::
I've never ran so far in my life; away from you.
I donno dude, but today and this week together have not been so good. I found out earlier today that two of my friends, Amber and Ryan, got into a really bad accident. Ryan has to have surgery on his arm, though the doctors say he should be ok. Amber is in ICU at Standford and they don't think she's going to make it. Could I ask a favor? For all of you that do pray, could you please pray for my friends? I don't know what else to do...
On top of that, my mom is going into surgery tomorrow... it's nothing serious, but it still adds on. This week I have just been plumeted with stuff, and it sucks. I slipped into a pretty bad mood today, and I don't know why. I'm not usually like that...ever. It was horrible and I felt really bad...regression. Though I went for a long walk in the dark, alone, for a while. Probably the worst idea to walk down deserted streets, alone, in the dark... I donno, but at times it was getting to me. I needed it though, just to get things off my chest.
Alright, I have a ton of stuff I need to finish up. Later...
:: Alecia 9:24 PM [+] ::